Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We smell like vodka and hangover
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