I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
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Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
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I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"