I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.