Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?