Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!