Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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