he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
be right there i have to get my cape
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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