The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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