i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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