He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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