We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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