I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
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