sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
