you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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