You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
