he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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