hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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