please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
