Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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