PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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