Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize