dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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