so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
