i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
