I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
