Buhtt sex?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize