Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
