so explain again why im purple
no
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
