My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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