so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
