he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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