Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
