Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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