i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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