one two three fourrrrnication!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
