We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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