nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
