come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
