What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
