was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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