The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
