I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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