Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize