thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
