Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize