You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
