If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
