How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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