You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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