I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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