watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
