so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
