I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
