you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
