If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
