I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
