I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
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You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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