Nicole vs. Life
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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