apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We got so high we made milksteak
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
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He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
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Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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